How many times we can transform in one lifetime? Some say we cannot at all, since we come to this world to live the life we are destined to have and only small moderations are possible. Others will claim that we can transform as many times as we wish, since life is for us to re-shape as we go through it. So, maybe the truth is that life is a combination of those two concepts depending on how dedicated (or rather determined) we are to change, or how comfortable with our life we are.

“Panta Rei” as Heraclitus, an ancient Greek philosopher, said. Everything changes, we change and the environment changes, hence we will never step twice into the same water etc. If so and if all is dynamic (as we know), doesn’t it sound optimistic? All predicaments we face, our punitive relationships, all challenges we experience, we can treat as just a phase, which will slowly fade out and disappear. The question remains though if we should, through our actions, interrupt the process?

I do not know about you, but I always wanted things a certain way, which is my way of course, and it took me a long time to learn how to discern between things, which can and cannot (or rather shouldn’t) be changed. Still till today I experience problems with it. As a very pro-active person, I do believe that we are responsible for ironing our way through life. In my world people should learn about themselves and life around so they can actively participate in ever-existing transformation process. I do believe that what is destined for us will happened anyway, so – on one hand – why wait if we can speed up the process and enjoy it earlier? On the other hand, if things are hard, what’s the purpose in going through it for a longer then absolutely necessary period of time, if we could (again) deal with it faster and enjoy life after?

What I believe, and hope you share my attitude, is that the very first stage of transformation is awareness. Keeping problems under the pile of lies or deep down in subconscious part of our minds and souls does not bring any relief. Quite the opposite, it takes an enormous amount of energy to keep them there and making sure they will never emerge. A whole life on guard! How strange. People say they are afraid of pain associated with re-living this particular experience. Isn’t it better to suffer for a while and be relieved for the rest of your life? That is what I always try to explain to my clients. Dark secrets never pay off. They come with a very high price tag, which mostly result in health condition, which over time become chronic.

I have a friend, whose throat has been closed for 16 years, since she has never been able to speak up for herself at work. While speaking, she had a constant feeling and urge to clear her throat. She went through all possible throat treatments without any result. She would always say to me that she couldn’t open her mouth and speak her mind, since she is single and must keep her employment. Nobody could convince her that she is practically indispensable at her place and there is no threat to her if she would express her needs, which were by the way very reasonable. She couldn’t imagine or face herself outside of the reality of her own world. Now, she will be retiring in a few months, and only recently she began to talk to her boss about her needs and, to her surprise, she was listened to and her demands were accepted. If you would speak to her today, you would hear her clearing her throat maybe once a sentence instead of every few words. Today she told me that she should have listened to me a long time ago.

Awareness is a first step to transformation. Even though I agree that there are some factors in our life, which are unchangeable, there is still so much we do have an influence on. We just need a spark of courage or – as I said at the beginning – desperation. By changing our life we are changing the life of those around us, and the world as a whole. I love to place a bit of pressure on the action of one person, one life, one moment of courage, since that is truly enough to ignite the chain of changes. We do not have to mention individuals of a format of Gandhi or Nelson Mandela, but there is ample of casual people, whose awareness creates real transformation at every moment. What we need is a moment of looking inside of ourselves to find a spark… it is there, patiently waiting for your attention and awareness…

Good luck!